Monday, January 16, 2012

Hey Baby, What's Your Sign?

My friend Andrea has been hit with a barrage of bizarre pickup lines lately. Among them: "Nice braces", smoothly crooned to her by the gas station attendant loitering outside her car window while waiting for the gas to pump. After a list of getting to know you questions, he expertly whipped out a pad of paper and a pen (presumably which he owns for this precise purpose), writing down his name and number so she could "call him sometime" and they could "go out for coffee." Unfortunately for him, Andrea does not drink coffee. Apparently this gas station dude should add "do you drink coffee?" to his question repertoire. Another great line was "If you want", spoken to Andrea by a fellow college student as he dropped a note down on the table in front of her. "If I want what?" she asked, breaking out of her reverie of study to blink up at this guy she had never spoken to before. "Well, read it," he tells her, gesturing to the note. Same scenario. A note with his name and number and the proposed coffee date. Another, much older classmate has been using creepy emails as a way to vie for Andrea's attention. And a young and clueless lad felt that spilling his entire life story in the grocery store parking lot and then asking for a hug was a surefire way into Andrea's heart. 

Here is Andrea, looking like a model on the ski slopes, so I can't blame these poor boys. And it's not like I'm a huge Emily Post fan or anything, but what ever happened to some etiquette? I'm pretty sure "nice braces" does not fall under the 10 most popular conversation starters in anyone's book. I guess I gotta give the guys credit for trying though.

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