Sunday, February 19, 2012

The Green Banana

I don't know that I would necessarily characterize myself as a banana connoisseur. In order to be that, I would have to have experienced bananas in all their various states. From green and crunchy to science experiment in the fridge, waiting to become the banana bread I will invariably never make, I would have had to at least have a sampling of each (and every one in between) to be able to claim the title of connoisseur. So, with the disclaimer that I am no expert, I would still like to make a case for the superiority of the green banana.

Primarily, I should qualify the adjective "green". By green, I do not mean a banana where the skin comes off but the peel stays on. I also do not mean a banana that is far enough along to peel, but you still chip a tooth and get a nasty film on your teeth when you attempt to bite off a chunk. These I have tried, and that's gross.

What I am referring to is the banana just a tiny bit further along than this. There is still some green on the skin. The banana can be a little finicky to peel, but it will usually give in. Then when you sink your teeth into the thing, it doesn't fall apart as a mushy mess in your mouth. There is a crispness to it, maybe like a mealy apple, only that sounds gross, so don't think of a mealy apple. But don't think of a crisp apple either because that is too crisp. In fact, don't think of apples at all because I'm talking about bananas.

My point, though I'm not sure I have one, is that ripe bananas are not good. A fruit should never be the consistency of baby food unless you are eating it out of a baby food jar. Anytime there are brown spots on stuff, that's bad. Do you eat apples (there I go with apples again) when they have brown spots all over them? How about any other fruit? No. Brown spots are an indication of impending rot, so don't do it! For the love of all things good, adopt a taste for the green banana.

1 comment:

  1. lol, this could have been a chapter in Ellen's latest book. Hilarious, Mandy!